Every once in awhile I come across another author who allows the words in his heart to say what I really need to hear, know or understand. A few days ago I came across Mike Tucker’s post on FaceBook following the death of his beloved wife, Gayle. With his permission I share it with you. I hope you will find insight and comfort as Mike speaks openly about his grief journey.
“Often when I share my grief there are some who want to attempt to “fix” it. They offer hopeful sayings, etc. I understand and appreciate that they want to help. I have no problem with it and agree with all they are saying. They say what they say because they love me, want to help me, and long to remind me of things we both know to be true. I truly love them for their concern and their effort.
However, reminding me of the promise of heaven does not often relieve my current suffering. I realize that heaven is real and one day I will see Gayle again. I say “Glory” for this promise! But I want to see her now! My bed and my heart are empty now! I have no partner in ministry now! I have no one to share my joys and sorrows with now! (I have no one to prepare a meal but instead I eat my own “burnt offerings.” )
The other day in Galveston TX., I saw a couple with their grandchildren at a restaurant. They were obviously on vacation. I was with my grandchildren by myself. I wanted Gayle to be with us and the fact that she was not made me cry. We had plans to one day travel with our grandchildren. That will not happen now.
Heaven cannot come soon enough and I am thankful that people share that promise with me. I’ve preached on that promise often. But right now I find it more comforting for someone to simply say something to the effect of: “I hear you.” or, “No words.” or, “I’ve been there.” Or better yet, grab a hankie and cry with me. I’m beyond being cheered up. I long for empathy, not an elixir. No such magical potion exists this side of heaven I’m afraid.”
Mike Tucker Dallas TX June 27, 2016