Why Not PYSOP?
6 Great Reasons to Put Your Stuff On Paper ~ PYSOP
“I have never processed anything by writing about it,” he said. “That was so powerful. I think I am making progress. I like you called it PYSOPing.”
When a man in my workshop responds to the Pysoping exercise in such a positive way, I listen.
“After my father died, I had quite a bit of conflict with my brother.” He continued, “Writing about it today has been very helpful for me to let go of my brother’s stuff and just deal with my pain over my dad.”
I often ask this question, “Why is there so much resistance to writing?” Most listeners hear only the words “writing” or “journaling” and immediately they are shut down.
Here are a few answers I get from those in my audiences:
I never liked writing while I was in school. Writing is academic and my emotions aren’t organized enough for me to write about them
I’m afraid someone will find what I have written
I have never kept a diary and don’t want to begin now
I think I express myself better when I speak
Just talking to a friend is good enough for me
It sounds like hard work
These are each personal reactions to writing. I understand that. However, when we practice PYSOPing (Put Your Stuff On Paper) it is different than any other kind of pen-to-paper activity. Please allow me to answer the above objections and see if you could be encouraged to experience what the gentleman at the top of this article discovered when he gave PYSOPing a try.
Not School
Put Your Stuff On Paper/PYSOP has nothing to do with school. If writing seemed like a struggle for you, reframe Pysoping this way: Pysoping is to the broken heart what Drano is to a clogged drain! It is a release valve that allows your emotions to flow freely in a safe place on paper. There are no grammar, spelling, or handwriting rules to follow when we PYSOP. So put pen to paper fearlessly. Let all your thoughts and emotions, questions, and fears flow out from your body and heart. Our emotions are messy, disorganized, random, and unpredictable. What goes on paper should reflect what is in the heart.
Safety First
If you truly have things to pysop about that will be damaging to your character or might interfere with current relationships, may I suggest that you still do the healing work of getting those worries and fears, anger, and pain on paper. But when you have finished, put it through the shredder or burn it. However, for most people, we have a safe place to keep our pysoping work. No one will read its contents. As time passes we might find it useful to return to some of our entries. There, we discover personal growth or pick up a thought that we might have left dangling.
No Dear Diary
Pysoping is not keeping a diary. Other than writing about how you are currently feeling or thinking, it will not be a retelling of your day’s activities. Rather, it is a safe place to express your varied unpredictable grieving feelings such as fear, anger, despair, guilt, blame, regrets, etc. Why put this stuff on paper? Because when we gt it out, we can often move past a place we might otherwise get stuck. Putting your stuff on paper means giving permission for your thoughts and feelings. If you need some guidance and thoughtful questions to help you, my book, Comfort for the Day, has beautiful spaces for pysoping and brings relief to many grieving hearts.
It’s all About Reflection
Many of us are great oral communicators. We are accustomed to chatting and being in conversation. However, the time, honesty, and thoughtfulness that goes behind Pysoping our experiences give more space for personal reflection. It is this very reflective process that makes Pysoping such a powerful dynamic in our healing process.
Moving Forward
While talking to others about our grief, we might find that we are repeating our same stories, worries, fears, concerns, or anxieties. So just notice, the next time you talk about your grief with a friend; have you already shared the same information with others? If so, just talking about your grief might not meet your greatest needs. For many, healing from the pain can come through Putting Our Stories on Paper.
PYSOPing Pays Off
Pysoping is messy and often avoided work, but in a different way than you might imagine. The work is not in the physical writing, but rather in the thinking, feeling, reflecting, and freedom to express one’s most real, honest, and raw emotions. I will not ever suggest that our grief work is easy. It can feel exhausting. Yet, afterward, we find ourselves moving forward with less pain and that is worth all the effort it takes to be real and honest with ourselves on paper. The clarity and healing that comes through pysoping releases the grief in us. Wouldn’t you like to experience what the man at the beginning of this article discovered? Pysoping really helps hurting hearts! Below you will find a few prompts to get you going.
My grief and sadness feel like . . . .
Some of my favorite memories of my loved one are . . .
Trusting God with this process is . . . .-
I hurt the most when . . .
For more useful grief Pysop prompts you can purchase a copy of Comfort for the Day. It is designed to become the reader’s story of healing. Give it a try and let me know how it helped you.
©Karen Nicola Aug. 19, 2016, updated May 2022
