God's Valentine to the Grieving Heart

Rachel, new to widowhood didn’t know what to do with her hurricane feelings about not having the love of her life with her for Valentine’s Day. This was painfully unthinkable. Her wonderful companion for 35 years had always made this day special, expressing his love and devotion to his wife in many thoughtful ways. This year there would be no card, flowers, or a dinner out. Then it dawned on her, over the years she had saved all of those precious paper expressions of his love for her. Her mind began to devise a different way to remember his love.

  Hilary Stanton Zunin once wrote,

“The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief—

But the pain of grief is only a shadow when

compared with the pain of never risking love.” 

Love Withheld or Love Lost

In a peculiar way, our aching, longing hearts are all about love ~ either the love we could never receive or the love we so terribly miss. 

If we grieve the love we never received, then this might be a good time to acknowledge, forgive, and release the pain in our hearts from the past that cannot be changed. 

Or, is it possible that this cultural celebration of love could be the catalyst, even though painful, to help us affirm our love for the one who died?  

A Poet Gets It

Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s sonnet might capture your experience

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Rachel’s Solution

Fortunately, Rachel had kept 35 years of lovely cards given to her by her husband. It didn’t take too long for her to locate the special box full of love. It was too difficult to select just one, so, she chose several cards that filled her heart with memories of the man who once held her close. Rachel set them around her home in different locations so she could enjoy them throughout her daily routines. This small act of preparing for what could otherwise be an overwhelming pain-filled day reminded Rachel that she had been loved and she loved in return. That was worth it to her.

Rachel didn’t know it, but she engaged with her grief in a powerful and healing way. She still felt the feelings of loss, but it did not overwhelm her because she took action to prepare for Valentine’s Day in a way that let her feel, remember, and heal.

Love that is Out of this World

I want to encourage you to contemplate that you are the delight, joy, and apple of God’s affection and care.  What happens when we are willing to be embraced by The One who knows us best? Can you allow yourself to be loved by this kind of eternal, gracious, strong, gentle, patient, wise, and never-giving-up adoring of you?  Welcome the tender care and love from The One who Loves you most!

God has penned several spectacular Valentine messages for you. 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. . . .

I will turn their mourning into gladness;

I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow”  Jer. 31:3 & 13  NIV

“But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.   Ps. 13:5,6   NIV

“Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, . . .

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! . . .

Continue your love to those who know you,  . . .  Ps. 36 5, 7 & 10  NIV

“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17  NKJV

What might happen if your Valentine grief was attended to with good healing choices AND with the beautiful everlasting Love of God? It could be a better day than ever imagined.

© Karen Nicola Feb. 2021