Comforting a Grieving Friend Through the New Year
What do you guess might be one of the most disturbing thoughts your grieving friend has as he or she looks down the barrel of the coming year?
· Wondering if this sorrow will last forever?
· Fearful of the unknown future?
· Uncertain how to move forward?
· Fearful of forgetting their loved one?
Let’s be real, even non-grieving people have trepidations about a new year. While we might make grand plans and pronouncements, something in each of us feels a little unsure how it is all going to play out; especially after living through the chaos of 2020!
Photo by Annie Spratt
Our grieving friends have all that plus their grief to consider.
While we can never say, “I know or understand how you feel,” we can ask questions so our grieving friends can feel at ease exploring their concerns with us. It might go something like this:
“What are you looking forward to in the year to come?”
“What are your nagging concerns or fears as you think about the new year?”
“How are you doing with the new year?
If they have given it any thought at all and they express their concerns or fears with you, this is normal. To be concerned that they might forget their loved one is natural. Fears of the unknown are expected. They have traveled through so much unknown territory in the past year facing a whole year to come might feel overwhelming.
Our role as an effective supporting friend is to listen, acknowledge how it is for them, and encourage them with the confidence they will continue to heal and learn to live wholeheartedly again. We are not to fix it for them or attempt to take their grief away. However, if you hear thoughts that concern you, call a professional. You are the supportive friend, leave the heavy lifting to those who are trained.
If your friend is open to prayer, take the time to pray for him or her while you are together. If they are not, you can assure them you are praying for them. There is real peace and confidence as we leave the cares of a friend’s broken heart with the One who cares for them most. When we pray for others we are also more intuned to the Spirit revealing how we can be more supportive to them. Peter, one of Jesus’ followers puts it this way, “Pour out all your worries and stress upon Him and leave them there, for He always tenderly cares for you.” I Peter 5: 7 The Passion Bible. Praying in the New Year is a great way to support a grieving friend, and then remember to stay connected with them during the next 12 months to come.
© Karen Nicola/ Comfort for the Day 2020
Photo by Immo Wegmann
Photo by Annie Spratt
