God Shows up in a Messy Manger & Our Messy Grief

Imagine this space filled with a few sheep, cows, donkeys, chickens, mice, and a couple of camels. Can you smell it? Can you feel the moist breath of these animals? What discordant sounds do you hear?

Then add Joseph~an unlikely midwife, a first-time mother, and a newborn.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Nativity Reality Check

When the birth of Jesus slipped quietly into the darkness of this earth's history, it was nearly unnoticed.  Did anyone think it odd to be born in a crowded stable? Today, we have cleaned up the stable and created an incarnation story that is attractive in nativity scenes.  Our senses would be jarred at the reality of amniotic fluid, afterbirth, straw, darkness, animal smells and sounds, and childbirth alone for a teenager and her fiancé. All in all, it was a messy affair when Jesus arrived as a helpless, totally dependent infant.  I am stunned by the mystery of this, and at the same time, I’m breathless as I attempt to comprehend that God is willing to arrive in my messy, broken heart, too.

Griever’s Reality Check

As grievers, we struggle with regrets, anger, and overwhelming waves of grief.  It’s a messy place indeed.

Is it possible that Jesus has no problem with “messy?”  He was born in a barn, during an extremely high-traffic season in Bethlehem.  No room in the Inn means overcrowded stables. More people in one small hamlet means not enough time to tend to animals. Which means the innkeeper’s offer of his stable left much to be desired.

Our messy hearts and minds do not send Jesus running the other direction.  Instead, He takes the initiative and shows up in the shadows of our pain until we cry out for his help.  While our pain might prevent us from recognizing His presence of peace and calm in our mess, He is still there.  How do I know?  Because God doesn’t lie when He says, “I heal the broken-hearted and bind up their wounds.” 

Just as Jesus survived his birth in a messy barn, we can survive our messy grief.  He did not live his entire life there.  And neither will we.  Our grief changes, and we grow.  We heal and move into whole-hearted living again.  All along, if we notice, we are accompanied by the gentle wisdom, guidance, and help of His Spirit. 

Help with Checking our Reality

Sometimes, we need others to come alongside with counsel and coaching.  Stacy was just such a griever.  After an 8-year relationship with a wonderful man, her heart was crushed by his untimely death.  She was the one who stayed by his side, providing every remedy she knew to strengthen his body again.  But it was not enough.  The love of her life still experienced a traumatic death at home.  Stacy reached out to me within the week, and together we began looking at her best options for healthy grief to heal the deep wound in her heart.  We recognized the presence of God’s wisdom as we met. As she leaned into her grief, willing to experience all the feelings, she was also leaning into the strength of God, who loves her most and knows her best.

No matter the mess, Jesus is willing to step in and live with us.  Isn’t that the meaning of His name, Emmanuel?  God With Us!  Any time, all the time! I sincerely pray you will welcome Jesus into your grief mess this Christmas.

©December 2025 Comfort for the Day