New Year’s Grief Workout

Get ready for a healing grief “workout!”

It’s a NEW YEAR to Grieve Stronger

In November, I recently started a workout program at the gym.  It’s all new to me.  The workouts are gentle, but I’m tired at the end and move slowly as my body recovers from new moves and heavy weights.  All right, 10 lb. barbells are not heavy for others, but they are for me. Ha ha! And that’s the lesson for grieving people.  What might seem easy for others in their grief is hard for you, and vice versa.  Grief is an emotional load.  Learning how to manage the weight is new to most of us.  However, if we ignore what we don’t know and push on due to neglect or distractions, we will likely harm ourselves even more. 

Are you up for a New Year’s emotional workout plan?  I hope so.  Because we can learn to manage our grief and find our hearts getting strong, compassionate, free, and open to new experiences, AND still honor our loved one. Healing from the trauma or loss of physical realities and carrying forward the good in our memories are “workout” outcomes for those who learn to deal with the heaviness of loss and grief.

Emotional Workouts

#1. Go Slow to Go Fast

Living with a crushed heart invites us to slow down.  In fact, for many of us 1st gear is about all we can manage. But some grievers try to keep their previous pace of life, misguidedly thinking that activity will keep them from feeling.  Feeling hurts.  But feeling is also healing.  When I do a series of squats, I go slowly.  I feel the stretch of my thighs.  It goes deep into my muscles, and I want to quit.  But as I continue, my muscles strengthen, and I can handle more weight with better control. Keeping a slow pace with grief also keeps us aware of how necessary it is for us to grow through the pain and loss.  Stay with it, and the results will be worth it.

#2. Lift a Little More than You Naturally Would

There are times as we progress in our grief workouts, when we need to choose to lift a little more than feels comfortable.  We might need to make a plan for an upcoming significant date.  We could put our pain on paper and let ourselves feel a deeper part of our hearts that needs healing today.  We call it PYSOPing. No need to keep any rules of the written language, just put your stuff on paper!  Read books on healthy and healing grief.  Join a support group.  These are all ways we push ourselves a little more than we think we can lift.  The benefits are amazing!

Order your Comfort for the Day book with Scripture-guided PYSOPing “workouts” for your grief. Start the New Year with the tools needed to grieve well.

#3. Accept Rest Periods

The heart needs to renew, and it does so by resting. As I learn more about working out, I am also discovering that periods of rest are very important.  We must give time and nutrition their place to restore muscle.  Grievers also need times of rest.  While our grief doesn’t give advance notice or put its name on our calendars, we can do our best to fit in regular emotional rest periods.  I found Sabbath to be a good weekly day off from emotional workouts.  Other ways to rest include finding a new hobby, playing a musical instrument, working on a puzzle, gardening, or even shoveling leaves or snow. Find a “rest” activity and begin to make it part of your regular routine. I think you will quickly see results.

# 4. Self-evaluate

Do you know why there are mirrors on nearly every wall in fitness gyms?  It’s because those who are working out are constantly checking to make sure their posture is correct as they lift a heavy weight or practice a particular move.  I know there are plenty of fitness fans who love looking at themselves, but those who use the mirrors to improve their workout make great progress.  Self-evaluation is like looking at yourself in the mirror to take an honest assessment of your heart and its motivations. Ask yourself about your “why” for doing or not doing an activity that is connected to the pain in your life.  Examples:  Distracting activities, purposefully ignoring, moments you choose to remember, and those you choose not to could reveal the need to make some adjustments in your emotional stance.  Sometimes, a grief therapist or grief coach can help with this part of your grief training process.

Wrap it Up

In the New Year to come, you and your grief are going to travel together.  You can’t help it.  Yet, you can make choices that will take you on a healing path. The four options for grief workouts would be a terrific start to your year. I hope you choose to “workout” with your grief to find strength and wholeheartedness as you’ve never known before. Let me know how it is working for you.  Welcome to the New Year.

© Dec. 2025 Comfort for the Day