Finding an Unexpected Legacy

The placemat that described my mom

From My Monday Mourning Series ~ Transparent grief after my mother’s death

We are just now settling into my mother's home. She left it to us in her will. Although we have lived with her in this home for six years, it was always her home. Finally, in many ways, it is beginning to feel like our home. And this is a nice thing.

But today I especially want to savor the "treasures" I come across that are part of my mother's story. So I paused to write my thoughts.

The Placemat of Control

The photo here is a placemat I made for her as we celebrated our family’s August birthdays. My husband, daughter, and son-in-law were the object of our love and fun. My granddaughters and I made personalized placemats for everyone around the table. No matter the occasion to dine around her table, my mom was the Queen who presided over that space and time.

Honestly, I have to admit that many times we would balk at her "control" over the conversation around the table. But this day in memory, she could neither prepare the meal nor direct the conversation. Instead, she simply participated and enjoyed herself.

Choosing my Legacy

I want to learn from this. I want to get it when it is my time to sit and enjoy what others have done. I want to offer and protect the gift of freedom of thought and the flow of awkward or invigorating conversations. I want to keep offering space for honesty, truth, and love. I don't want my aging body to time me out from giving others what they need most.

I think sometime over the holidays I will set the table with this placemat and eat a meal in The Queen's honor. And thank her for the many "treasures" she gave us over the years. These will not be physical things as much as life lessons ~ both examples we want to replicate and those we will strive to do differently.

Making the Best of What is Left Us

Maybe you did not have a perfect mother, father, spouse, or sibling either. But I guess that you can find gratitude for what they left you. Lessons, treasures of time, examples to copy, and some to do differently. In this way, a positive and possibly unexpected legacy can be ours no matter what.

©Karen Nicola 2023