Holiday PYSOP!

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

I don’t know how you are really feeling.  Do Christmas decorations bombard your senses? Do songs of merriment mock your pain? Are you someone who is putting forward a strong and brave front as you step closer to Christmas?  However, on the inside, you know your heart remains in a thousand pieces. The thought of living through this COVID Christmas may feel like a surreal stage drama.  It is highly possible that your grief needs some special care and attention. 

Find a pen and paper.  Allow your real, honest and true self to spill out on the lines.  Fill the page with what you are really feeling and thinking.  Now that you have a broken heart, there is no need to pretend. Let the pen release your deepest pain. 

But Stop Writing!

That’s right. Don’t write anymore. I no longer encourage my clients or anyone who needs heart healing to write anymore. I don’t want you to journal either. Writing comes with all kinds of baggage. Remember when you first learned to write? You were in school. Letter shapes and word formulations may have been a difficult task for you. If that came easy, you were lucky until research paper came along. I understand that the confines of the writing process blocks the heart’s healing process. So please stop writing. Here is what I want you to do instead. . .

PYSOP!

Put Your Stuff On Paper. But don’t write. The goal is to release your thoughts and feelings in whatever disorganized, random and messy way they come out. Our grief is not organized, neat, and tidy. It is filled with chaos, random waves of emotions, and deep feelings that are difficult to articulate. Last week I presented a webinar that allowed for my guests to practice PYSOPing. Here are a few of their responses.

“I liked not worrying about the writing process. ”

“The process of PYSOP was like dumping everything out on a tabletop and looking at it for what it is.”

“ I like how you differentiated PYSOP from journaling...it is much more freeing. ”

A good friend was struggling with her grief journaling. It wasn’t a process that tapped into her heart. She spent time and energy trying to organize her thoughts before she ever began. As we explored the “writer’s block” she was experiencing, it occurred to me that “writing” was the problem. We discussed the PYSOP approach and she thought she could do that. In fact she did PYSOP. Clarity of thought and released emotions were the marvelous results.

Let God have an Ear Full

Putting your stuff on paper can also take the form of directing our pain to God. He can handle it all. He is the only One who is already well acquainted with your grief. He knows your specific heart ache and knows exactly how to comfort, soothe, and heal the hurt. I found so much relief in PYSOPing to God that it was my first go-to choice to process my pain. You can give it a try and see how it works for you.

Tears On Paper

Please consider that your pain and private tears are the highest honor to the love that is in your heart.   Naturally, longing and sadness takes root in their absence.  It is difficult to give attention to anything else but our loss. Grief may simply be our love with no place to land.  Letting it land on paper is a good idea. When the lined pages of my paper are soggy, I always know that I experienced more healing . Those salty tears actually carry away grief-stress toxins and that leaves me feeling better. Tired? yes. But feeling better too. In fact, the PYSOP process is the method that helps my husband cry when he is bottled up and needs help for his tears to flow.

PYSOP in a Book 

If you need a little help to put that pain on paper, please pick up our book, Comfort for the Day, Living through the Seasons of Grief.  The lined pages in our book are the most important pages of all. That is where you get to put your stuff on paper. That is where the healing comes. Comfort for the Day, Living through the Seasons of Grief is a powerful Scripture guided place to put your stuff on paper. The more honestly you express yourself there, the more you will experience release from your pain.  I hope you PYSOP your way through the Christmas holiday this year. It is our intention that you will begin to discover joy and healing.